Sunday, March 6, 2011

Dave Barry (from 1985, but the advice is evergreen) on planning a birthday party for a preschooler:
CHOOSING A PARTY THEME: This is an area where you may be as creative as you wish, letting your imagination run riot, limited only by the fact that the theme must consist of a copyrighted licensed character featured on a half-hour television cartoon show with at least 26 minutes of advertising for colorful breakfast substances manufactured by pouring liquid sugar into molds shaped like copyrighted licensed characters.

Appropriate themes for little girls include: The Smurfs; Strawberry Shortcake; The Snorks; Rainbow Brite; The Care Bears; The Concern Pigs; The Dweebs; Wee Whiny Winky; Bingo the Leech; The Pustule People; and The Smarm Worms. Appropriate themes for little boys include: He-Man; G.I. Joe; The A-Team; The Transformers; The Destroyers; The Eye Eaters; The Limb Whackers; The Fascist Youth Corps; and Testosterone Bob's Hurt Patrol.